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Thoughts and Suggestions from an Aging Psychologist.

Introducing “Joylets”

I’m introducing a new word: “joylet” — a contraction of the noun “joy” and the suffix “let.” When we speak of joy, we’re speaking of a feeling, an experience of much happiness.

While adding “let” reduces this to a diminutive version, it still embraces the elements of full joy. Each of us intuitively knows what brings us joy. While it can be hard to describe clearly, we can recognize joy when we experience it — if we allow ourselves to.

What Blocks Our Joy?

What gets in our way of identifying small joys and compromises our ability to live our best life between the raindrops?

For many of us, there is a tendency toward holding out for “perfect” and “grand enough” at the expense of “good enough.” If something is not a big joy, then it’s not joy at all.

Another impediment reflects a superstition that if something feels a little too good, it could portend something negative in the offing. So best to gird our emotional loins and not recognize the joy at all.

If opportunities for large joys become somewhat limited in old age, can small joys, even tiny ones, help lift our moods and spirits and prevent a joy-deficit? I believe they can!

Finding Joy in Aging

Becoming old includes meeting many challenges along the way, experiencing aches and pains, disruptions and losses. This is not ageism; this is reality. In the aggregate these are the vicissitudes of old age. But it’s not inevitable that old age be joyless.

While there are many rain showers in older age, and some rainstorms, there is sunshine, too. Sometimes we need a little push, a little encouragement, to be on the lookout for it.

The Benefits of Age and Experience

One of the assets of being an old person is embracing a more intimate relationship with nuance. We have the benefit of:

• A long history
• The luxury of space in our lives
• The ability to connect more deeply with the present than in our younger years
• The wisdom to recognize and treasure small sources of joy
• The ability to recruit the benefits of pleasant nostalgia

Past joy can be a healthy source of present joy. Consider the delight in looking through photo albums or the ones you store on your iPhone or iPad, when reminiscing about:

• Happy adventures
• The grandchildren when they were little
• Our children when they were little
• Funny happenings we can share with friends and family

Persevering Through Difficult Times

Sometimes it is hard, especially during times of sadness and loneliness, when we feel unsettled with a shift in our lives. But even if we have to push ourselves a little bit harder to look for it, it is never wise to deny an opportunity for joy of any size.

I am a walker, committed to taking a daily walk around the neighborhood. But I don’t take walks when it’s snowy and icy. I don’t want to risk a fall. Sometimes I feel a little lazy when it is drizzly and gray and dreary outside. But if I push myself and dress for the weather, even with the rain and clouds, I find that I can experience a little joy. And a little can go a long way!

Activity

I’ve learned that many of you meditate, as I do. In meditation we are encouraged to identify that for which we are grateful, and to express our appreciation.

I am asking you, at the end of the day today, to note all the “joylets” you can recall, to express gratitude, and to set an intention for tomorrow to be mindful of these opportunities for joy.

Contact me. I’d love to hear back from you, especially about any creative ways you’ve put this to use.

Photo by the author.