Thoughts and Suggestions from an Aging Psychologist.

The Evolving “You”

How would you describe the “you” that you are now? In what ways have you changed with age? Conversely, in what ways have you remained the same?

“Most of us carry around an internalized image of ourselves at a younger age.”

It’s not unusual to be taken aback when catching an unexpected glimpse of ourselves in a mirror, only to see an older version staring back. It can indeed be startling.

Although our physical appearance changes over time, we retain our “authentic self”. We can adapt to these age-related changes, sometimes with the aid of cosmetics or even medical procedures.

However, it’s not only our physical appearance and certain abilities that evolve. The “authentic self” is dynamic and ever-evolving. Throughout our lives, we are continuously shaped by our experiences in more ways than just the visible ones.

Dominant personality traits, such as introversion or extraversion, remain stable over our lifetimes. Yet, our thought processes and behaviors can and often do shift. The authentic self is flexible, adaptable, and resilient.

The Dance with Time

In today’s world, we are bombarded with messages urging us to “live in the moment”, even as we juggle numerous responsibilities and commitments. The more stress we experience, the harder it is to focus our attention on what we are doing right now. See my previous post, The Vastness of Now, for more on this topic.

Our perception of time shifts as we age. How we distribute our thoughts between the past, present, and future is malleable, adjusting to our needs at various life stages.

“Where our focus is on the time continuum varies widely on any given day, hour, or even moment.”

For children, the present moment is predominantly their reality. As they grow into adults, the future takes on a more tangible and expansive form, sharing the focus with the present. Later in life, as the horizon of future time seems shorter, memories from the past become more prominent, leading to reflections and nostalgia. Yet, the authentic self remains robust and identifiable, strong and stable enough to remain recognizable over an entire lifetime of growth and change.

Reflections and Activities

The you that you are now.

For your Journal

Reflect on your major consistencies and changes over time.

Activity #1: The Time Continuum - Past, Present, Future

Where along the time continuum were/are you most focused in your thoughts?

• Then (younger self)
• Now

Activity #2: Sources of Happiness

What brought/brings you joy?

• Then (younger self)
• Now

Activity #3: Core Values

What were/are your major values?

• Then (younger self)
• Now

Activity #4: Life Goals

What were/are your primary objectives in life?

• Then (younger self)
• Now

Activity #5: Describing the Current You

In a few sentences, describe “The You That You Are Now”.

Always remember, respect, and accept that you are not a finished product. Instead, you are perpetually a wonderful work in progress.

Photo by Ludovica Dri on Unsplash